Republicans crying over cocaine on the White Home have forgotten Jan. 6 | Dick Polman

What an ideal holiday-week information story, the equal of a brainless summer season film.

Some clown not too long ago left a small baggie of cocaine within the White Home guests space, thus inspiring varied clowns within the MAGA cult (particularly the twice-indicted clown) to froth on the mouth. Abruptly they’re all involved about “safety,” which might be laughable if it weren’t so detestable, given how they have been positive with their thugs beating up on Jan. 6 and smearing feces on Capitol hall partitions.

The white powder was found final Sunday, in a spot the place touring guests depart their cellphones in cubbies (“a closely traveled space,” says Joe Biden’s press secretary), and the Secret Service says it’s working “an investigation into the trigger and method” of how the coke wound up there. Nice. That’s a worthy probe. However the clown prince of hysteria, terrified greater than ever that his final reckoning is at hand, cooked up a quintessentially noxious stew on social media:

“Does anyone actually imagine that the COCAINE discovered within the West Wing of the White Home, very near the Oval Workplace, is for using anybody aside from Hunter & Joe Biden…Has deranged Jack Smith, the loopy, Trump hating Particular Prosecutor, been seen within the space of the COCAINE? He seems like a crackhead to me.”

Nicely. I’ve a query for his beleaguered attorneys: Given the truth that your shopper sought to overthrow the U.S. authorities, stoked an rebel, and stole categorized authorities paperwork that he has since sought to share with God is aware of who, is it smart to consult with the man who’s investigating him – and who could but additional indict him – as a “crackhead”?

Simply questioning.

In the meantime, on Fox Information, right-wing congressman Darrell Issa, finest identified for his repeated failed makes an attempt guilty Hillary Clinton for Benghazi, popped up yesterday to announce with out proof that the coke within the guests space is one way or the other tied to…you guessed it…Hunter Biden: “He (the president) continues to have any individual with a historical past of drug habit within the White Home. It’s not a small downside that we discover cocaine after Hunter Biden has been within the White Home.”

Issa was simply trolling. The coke was found on Sunday, seemingly “minutes” after it was left there; that’s in response to ex-Trump press secretary Kayleigh, who has currently rediscovered factual actuality. She stated yesterday, “For it to be Hunter Biden, he left on Friday, he was at Camp David. There’s no method, It’s inconceivable to assume cocaine might sit for a 72-hour interval, so I might rule him out at this level.”

OK, so perhaps the coke has no connection to Hunter, and perhaps (regardless of Trump’s insinuation) the coke was not meant for Joe’s nostril. Nonetheless, Tom Cotton is on the case. The MAGA senator from Arkansas has despatched a letter to the Secret Service, demanding solutions: “I urge you to launch that data shortly, because the American folks should know whether or not illicit medication have been present in an space the place confidential data is exchanged. If the White Home advanced isn’t safe, Congress must know the small print, in addition to your plan to right any safety flaws.”

As my mom used to say, “That’s a scream!”

How entertaining it’s – there are harsher phrases, however I’m in vacation mode – to listen to {that a} MAGAt is professing “safety” issues a couple of baggie of coke “in an space the place confidential data is exchanged.” I’ve clearly missed Cotton’s statements professing concern concerning the recorded exchanges of confidential data at Trump’s Jersey golf membership; I’ve clearly missed his statements professing concern concerning the stacking of confidential paperwork subsequent to a Florida bathroom.

That is simply bread-and-circuses stuff, grist for the MAGA-GOP distraction machine. Steve Schmidt, the previous Republican strategist, brings the mockery: “Cocaine within the White Home. Did you hear? Is that one thing to concern? Would possibly there be one thing else? Fascist within the White Home.”

And if not for Cokegate, maybe folks may begin studying concerning the resilient economic system, the lessening inflation, the spike in shopper confidence, the robust labor market (doubling expectations in June), and the billions of greenbacks at the moment flowing to red-state highway, bridge, and broadband tasks.

So a bit perspective, please. Simply ask your self what’s extra vital as we head towards 2024:

A summer season thriller about white powder – or a threatened White Home restoration of white energy?

This column first ran within the Advance’s sister outlet, the Pennsylvania Capital-Star.